1. "Grocery Outlet, Supermarket Chain Where Oddball Products End Up." (Oddball products like Cleavage Creek wine.)

2. Relationship advice.

3. "Book Of 'Roadside Prostitutes' Made Entirely With Google Street View."

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1. An explanation for why "illegal immigration is the best immigration."

2. "Jon Stewart is misleading stoned smart-alecks in dorm lounges across America about how things really work."

3. Jennifer Aniston recently bought an apartment in her dog's name.

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1. The WSJ:

When Rabbi Naftali Marrus does his spring cleaning, he doesn't use a mop. He rolls with the Inferno.

The Inferno is a three-and-a-half-foot-long propane torch Rabbi Marrus uses during the critical days before Passover to scour commercial kitchens catering to observant Jews and obliterate the smallest particles of bread and other leavened foods, which are forbidden during the holiday that commemorates the Jews' flight from Egypt.

Maybe next April's art contest should be designing a logo for the rabbi and his Inferno? Via.

2. Digital subscriptions are for suckers:

Apparently, if you're a Kindle owner with a magazine subscription, and you decide to stop subscribing, the back issues you previously downloaded are also lost—for good.

3. Songwriter/music producer/former American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi has a new book to promote, in which she says that she was "date-raped by a well-known music producer" and "sexually harassed by a 'hugely successful artist.'" The article doesn't mention whether she took any steps to protect other women from the men.

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1. Yahoo's reporting that Jamarcus Russell's life coach fired him.

2. TechCrunch reviews Nike's Nike+ SportWatch GPS. Doesn't sound like you get nearly enough value for $200. Probably makes more sense to buy an app, or the Nike+ Sport Band for a quarter of the price at Amazon.

3. "Look at This Fuckin Hipster Food Truck," the Tumblr. Sample post: "Look at this fuckin three-dollar sea salt." Via.

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Not an April Fool's Day prank - - treadmills, weights, and more for little kids:

It's not about vanity or unrealistic beauty standards. It's about your child's present and future health and well being. The fact is, childhood obesity levels have tripled in the past two decades, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Children who are significantly overweight are at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol and Type 2 diabetes and are more likely to become obese adults. Establishing a fitness routine early in life will help prevent current and future weight problems.

Available at Amazon.

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Have you heard of algorithmic trading? Wikipedia explains:

In electronic financial markets, algorithmic trading or automated trading, also known as algo trading, black-box trading or robo trading, is the use of computer programs for entering trading orders with the computer algorithm deciding on aspects of the order such as the timing, price, or quantity of the order, or in many cases initiating the order without human intervention.

Speed is extremely important in such trading. The computer has to execute the trade at the right moment. "It's all about picking gold coins up off the floor - - only the fastest person is going to get the coins."

Spread Networks decided to stretch a fiber-cable between Chicago and New York to facilitate such trades, and since speed was the primary concern, the company spent (according to Forbes's estimate) $300 million to build the 825-mile route as straight as possible. Information travels 3 milliseconds quicker than the previous fastest route. Spread Networks built the line as quickly and quietly as possible to frustrate any competitors, and at one point had 125 construction crews working at the same time.

READ MORE - It's all about picking gold coins up off the floor