Effective Apology
Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust
By: John Kador
Published: May 2009
Format: Paperback, 264 pages
ISBN: 9781576759011
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
"Apologies have more power than most of us realize to restore strained relationships, free us from vengeful impulses, and create possibilities for growth:, writes consultant and speaker John Kador in his powerful and life changing book Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust. The author demonstrates the crucial importance of making effective apologies in both business and personal life, for rebuilding trust between people.
John Kador recognizes the importance of apologies as essential to modern society. While a leader's first impulse may be to avoid apology, to not appear weak or prone to mistakes, the author makes a powerful case that avoiding apology can have serious consequences. The central message of the book is that mistakes are inevitable and that an honest and effective apology will defuse anger, reduce litigation, begin the healing process, and rebuild the relationship. John Kador makes the case well that while an apology is not free of personal and economic cost, the price of denial, blame, and a refusal to take responsibility for mistakes and to apologize is much higher. While apology was once viewed as weakness, society now considers an open and honest apology to be a sign of personal strength and integrity.
John Kador (photo left) recognizes that there are many facets to an effective apology, and a clear understanding of what constitutes a proper apology is central to its acceptance. The author provides an insightful definition of apology and how the very nature of apology is being transformed through business, political, and technological change. The book contains an important section on the building blocks, for developing and giving effective apologies, that can be applied to most situations in business, public, or private life. The third section of the book delves into achieving positive results from apology, including an understanding of when, how, and through which medium to give the apology, and avoiding mistakes made when apologizing to others. Along with ideas on giving apologies, John Kador discusses how to accept an apology, and how to recognize when an offered apology is not genuine.
For me, the power of the book is the author's clear understanding of every aspect of giving and accepting apologies. His basic concepts, that an apology is an essential step to regaining trust and rebuilding relationships, is a powerful message in the modern world. No longer can a leader stand back and refuse to make an apology, through fear of being seen as weak, when an admission of the mistake will demonstrate strong, responsible leadership. Since mistakes are inevitable, it's critical that those errors be addressed openly and honestly by leaders. John Kador makes an overwhelming case that accepting responsibility, not attempting to shift blame, and giving effective apologies are core leadership skills in today's world.
I highly recommend the indispensable and definitive book Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust by John Kador, to anyone seeking to more deeply understand the crucial role of an effective apology in building relationships even stronger than before. The author describes, not only the tools and building blocks to forge an effective apology, but also shares his wisdom for the proper use of apologies at the right time, and in the most sensitive way.
Read the essential book Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust by John Kador, and discover that mistakes, either of commission or omission are inevitable, and that the need for an apology will arise. John Kador guides the reader through the entire apology process, and in the end, helps everyone to begin the healing process and create a deeper relationship as a result. Become a stronger and better leader, through the power of an effective apology.
