Helping
How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help
By: Edgar H. Schein
Published: February 2009
Format: Hardcover, 192 pages
ISBN 9781576758632
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
"Helping is a complex phenomenon. There is helpful help and unhelpful help", writes Sloan Fellows Professor of Management Emeritus and Senior Lecturer at the MIT Sloan School of Management Edgar H. Schein in his seminal, yet highly practical book Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help. The author presents the sociological and cultural aspects of offering and receiving help that offers both wisdom and everyday applications of his ideas.
Edgar Schein understands the role that societal relations play in the helping process. The author also points out that not all offers of help are accepted. When help is offered and refused, the intended giver may not be meeting the real needs of the recipient. Simply offering a preferred solution may not be what is needed in that situation. As a result, neither party is happy, and both people leave the situation unhappy. Ed Schein emphasizes the crucial aspect of trust in a helping relationship. Without trust, the motivations of the giver and the recipient may be misunderstood, leading to a deterioration of the relationship.
Edgar Schein (photo left) recognizes that not every offer of help is between people of equal social status. The inequality may involve parents and children, or employers and employees. As a result, the reciprocity between the helper and the recipient may be very different from those of equal status. The author places great importance of societal roles in the book, including economic relationships involving exchanges of money for help. Ed Schein also points out the crucial aspect of asking the right questions of the intended recipient, to ensure that the help offered satisfies both the personal and societal needs of the recipient. In a business setting, the employee needs make the proper inquiry of what is expected, and what help is offered in return to achieve the desired goal.
For me, the power of the book is the author's understanding of the role society plays in helping others, and receiving reciprocity in return. The author also guides the reader through the many complexities of helping, including its many forms and types. Ed Schein demonstrates the how differences in status play a key role in how help is offered and how it is accepted. The book is packed with practical, and easy to apply examples of the helping process in action. The author provides valuable tips and techniques for asking what help is needed prior to offering the assistance, to avoid sending the wrong message. At the same time, the reader learns many ways to properly accept an offer of help, and how to offer the appropriate thanks and reciprocity in return.
I highly recommend the essential guidebook Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help by Edgar H. Schein, to anyone who seeks to improve their personal and business relationships, establish trust, and help others in ways that benefit everyone. For business people, this must read book provides the basis for better employee relations and stronger teamwork, through deeper understanding of the helping process.
Read the indispensable and very readable Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help by Edgar H. Schein, and improve your own offers of help in any private or business setting. Learn as well how to accept help with grace, and with proper thanks for the giver's generosity.
